Writer's Block


This page consists of various stories, anecdotes, and other writings of TyDye.
More will be added as I have time and creative energy. Continue at your own risk.
If you have any ideas, questions, or comments please Email Me.
All works on this page are copyright protected and may not be reproduced without permission.


Forever Young


I sat there in that classroom, unaware of the corruption being pounded into my brain. Every bit of knowledge that my teachers wanted me to remember was crammed into the once vast space of my mind. My imagination was corrupted by contemporary and historical knowledge of far away places that I neither knew of nor cared much about.

I pondered the reality of my situation. What was I doing? How had my innocence slipped away from me? Where had the days gone when I could spend every last minute of daylight roling in the freshly mown summer grass? I dropped the pencil I was holding bringing myself back into 'The Survey of Calculus.' The bell rand shortly after, dismissing us from our temporary prison.

I said my usual good-byes to my friends as I walked to my car. What kept me from my childhood self? I stepped into the car and started the ignition. The engine turned over once...twice... On the third turn, my ancient car sputtered into life. It protested a few times before actually moving and I wondered if I was so different from the car I tortured. Was my imagination choking on all the information I was trying to cram into my brain?

A red light brought more thoughts to me as I waited for traffic to pass. Why had society forced us to its own educational pace? Although there were no red lights in the educational field, there were definitely limits to what we could learn in school. Our culture forces us to grow up, but then lets us down in it incompete efforts to educate us.

I pulled into my driveway and turned off the ignition, listening to the car give up its dying breath. I left my books in the car simply because I didn't feel like carrying more weight with me into the house. I crossed my lawn slowly, thinking of all the days of my childhood spent doing absolutely nothing. That "nothing" was important to me then. Now, I had no spare time for "nothing." Why did time take away the bliss of ignorance when all one had to do was roll in the grass and drink Kool-Aid�? What happened to those days that seemed like yesterday?

Without thinking, I took off my shoes and threw myself onto the grass. The warm smell of it brought back the memories I had long since forgotten. I recalled the day I learned to ride a bike and laughed at the image of a shaky me trying to keep the bicycle balanced. I was flooded with many more memories and drank them all in with the fervent thirst of a dehydrated person.

Before entering my house that night, I came to one conclusion. Time may be able to force people to age, but it cannot make a person old. The memories of childhood will stay with us forever. That's all it really takes to remain forever young.

� TyDye 1999


In Deeper Waters


Love is an island, to which we all must swim to discover the treasure of true happiness. On the way to the island, you must cross the deep waters where many dangers are waiting for you. I know someone who once remarked that girls were shallow and that they are all alike. This is, to some extent, true. However, there are guys who exhibit the same qualities. These are the people who are afraid of going into the deep waters because of all the things that might hurt them. They have to take slow, careful strokes toward the open ocean, where they are exposed to many dangers. Falling in love takes a lot of guts, just as going into the deeper waters does.

A girl or guy who has dated frequently knows the risk of getting hurt and, therefore, stays in the shallow parts. On the other hand, people who have just started dating might allow themselves to be pulled into the deep where they could risk drowning or getting hurt. They don't know the dangers of love and do not care very much about them. If he or she goes out too far, he or she either has to keep going or turn back. The latter isn't too appealing because of the hard work that it's taken to get so far. However, giving up in mid-stroke isn't an option either. It has to be carried through to the end or one risks drowning.

It isn't uncommon to be afraid of deep waters, nor is it only a fear of children. Many adults are afraid to get involved in a relationship after surviving the deep. They don't want to go back to the sharks and men-of-war, and they give up, thinking love is only a mirage that can never be reached.

In some cases, love is only a mirage. Infatuation is a deadly thing. You think you see the island and take rapid strokes toward it, only to find that it vanishes before your eyes. The only way to find love is by taking slow steady strokes and never turning back. If you turn back, you may never find your way back to the shallow pools again. When you are in the deep, the only thing to do is swim straight. Alone in an ocean of feelings, there are no lifeguards. 'Swim at your own risk' the sign says. 'No floatation devices allowed.' In short, you're on your own.

When searching for love, I have only a few words of advice, "Learn to swim. Dog-paddling won't get you anywhere."

� TyDye 1999


Thoughts on Growing Older


While thinking back on all the "good ol' times" I wonder if growing up is really all that great. We strive to get older, we can't wait for our next birthday, but as time progresses I find a desire to regress has grown. Birthdays aren't as exciting as they have been nor are any of the former adrenaline-building holidays.

I think back on the times when I was younger and didn't have to worry--times when boys were nothing more than annoyances. There were times when we didn't have to fight a boy to play football with us. As we grew older, though, somehow guys thought we grew weaker. Although I'll admit they got stronger (and sexier), they still could have played football without being "easy" on us. It was terribly sweet that they didn't actually want to hurt the poor wimpy girls, but at the time it was an insult.

Growing older still only brough more aggrivation. The guys stopped playing football altogether and then excluded us from all their activities. Time grew more and more important and we couldn't spend hours laying outside in the summer grass. Jobs came, harder classes showed up, and extracurricular activities took over. A separation of the sexes was painfully apparent. No longer did we tell each other any of our secrets. We practically became strangers with only memories of childhood to look back upon...and a desire for regression.

� TyDye 1999


Love and Hate


There is a fine line between love and hate with perforations just waiting to rip a heart apart. The scales are delicately balanced, but one step in the wrong direction could destroy a potential relationship. In matters of the heart one must move carefully so as not the fall off the deep end. However, as with all other things in love and hate, falling can be a beautiful or frightening thing. When falling through the air one almost has the sensation of flying. A step in the right direction can bring this sensation upon you. Just be careful how you land.

� TyDye 1999


Hands


The hands are an amazing feature. Hands tell all about a person while at the same time revealing nothing. They are capable of doing anything. Hands explain people, they describe people, and they provide insight into that person's character. When one looks at a person, he or she might not be able to tell if that person is capable of drawing or writing. Everything lies in the hands. They can be strong and large or frail and weak. Hands hold the mystery of the human spirit. People often hold hands to show affection. When meeting a person, the hand is one of the first things with which we come into contact. They are a sign of greeting and farewell. They communicate what words cannot. Hands are what separate humans from all else.

� TyDye 1999


Wouldn't It Be Strange?


Wouldn't it be strange to sit behind yourself? You'd be staring at the back of your head picking loose hairs off your shoulders and then jumping when you pull that one that's still attached.

Wouldn't it be strange to hear yourself speak? You'd be listening to your own voice, laughing at the nervous quiver, and then getting embarassed when your confidence dissolves at the sound of yourself laughing at your stutter.

Wouldn't it be strange to see yourself walking away? You'd be seeing the way that your feet turn in when you take steps, wondering what other people are thinking of you walking away and then hating the way you walk with a slight limp from the hole you just stepped in.

� TyDye 1999


Life


Some people can feel themselves dying. Bit by bit, they gradually fade from reality. It is not necessarily a physical wound that causes death. Mental wounds are much deeper and don't heal as easily. Each day it becomes harder to wake up until eventually you don't wake up at all. Thus, death from a mental wound.

Emotions are the only human faults; they are also the only superior qualities. To have control over our emotions may lead to a happy life. This is in itself a contradiction in terms. If nobody had emotions or had complete control over them, there could be no way to know what a happy life was. We would not know that life was boring and we would not know sadness. Life would only be life. We wouldn't care one way or the other what happened...and that is not life at all.

For some, the purpose of life is simply death. Everyone has this common purpose. People are born only to die for nobody has the power of eternal mortal life. The meaning of life may be different for everybody. We each have to search for that meaning. Whether or not we find it is of no consequence. In the end, we all die.

� TyDye 1999


Life
You are born and God gave life
For your chance to end all strife.
In this bright and beautiful world,
You are quickly and suddenly hurled.

You go on your merry way,
To try and save the world each day,
But you find it's not so great.
You play the cards dealt by fate.

You have nothing, so you fold.
That's the end of life I'm told.
You fall down and then you die,
A beatless heart, there you lie.

All hope lost, asleep you snore,
Thinking of all the life you bore.
Not waking from eternal sleep,
You lie in the blackest deep.

No sadness do you feel,
For your life had been too real.
You just think, "Was it a dream?"
But it's not, though it may seem.

� TyDye 1999


Individuality

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. These beliefs are what make up that person. Converting people to one's own beliefs is wrong. When you do this you are taking away a part of that individual by making him more like you. In a Hitleresque world, everyone is the same; everyone is "perfect." However, what is perfect in a world of clones? In this way beliefs and opinions are no longer individual, but part of the whole. The very definition of opinion and belief is that it is individual. It is unique--as we all are.

� TyDye 1999